Johnny Moped: The Impossible Dream by C.R. Johnson

When a vampire claimed to be a relative, Hieronymus Calmly was understandably suspicious.

Count Vlad Orlok needs the Patents of Vampiric Nobility signed because Count Dracul is missing (last seen in a fish and chip shop in Whitby). He is here to inflame the LGWTQ+Z communities to demand equal rights.

Johnny Moped is in financial peril from the council over rebuilding the front of his house and is pursued by insurance agents. Meanwhile, the world’s nuclear powers face off in the Pacific. Deep beneath them the ancient Engineer awakes.